Losing it all
by Sienna 2000
Summary: A year had passed since Charlie died and everything was a mess, Ruby was in jail, Casey in juvenile detention every weekend, Bianca and Heath's relationship was still rocky and Brax had just broken up with Natalie... will things start to get better?
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys, I know that I only posted one chapter and I have not changed it or added a new chapter for ages but that is mainly because I didn't have any reviews and I lost interest and I didn't have any motivation. PLEASE REVIEW (not trying to sound desperate) even if it is short. It helps me keep motivated which is good for you because it means more updates!

Here is my updated version of Chapter 1! It isn't really changed much but it's really just to refresh my memory!

SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT SO LONG

**Chapter 1**

**It had been exactly a year since Charlie had died in the hospital room because Ruby and Brax turned off her life support and today Brax was not handling it so well. All of his memories of Charlie came flooding back and all the things that could have happened between them. Charlie was the love of Brax's life and he had lost her because of Jake Pirovic and even after a year the pain had not gotten any easier. He blamed himself and it didn't help that nearly everyone in the town did to. Yesterday he had told Natalie that they weren't gonna work in fear of him coming home and finding her hurt because of him.**

**BRAX POV**

I walked up to the grave with a fresh bunch of flowers in my hand. There were many other bunches and although it had been a whole year since she had gone, coming here was still so hard. I had pushed Natalie away yesterday because Adam had reminded me that I hurt people and so I had decided that I didn't want to come home one night and find Natalie on the floor just like I had found Charlie. I reached the grave, bent down and placed the flowers carefully down. "Hey Charlie, how are ya? I miss you and about all that stuff about Ruby, I really feel like I have let you down, I mean I should have looked out for her more than I did and I'm sorry." I sat there for a while looking out towards the ocean when I heard footsteps behind me. When I turned I saw Bianca there was tears running down her face.

**BIANCA POV**

It had been a year since I had held my grudge against Charlie and she had died before I could say that I was sorry. During the past year I had lost a baby, got married, separated and some things that I would just prefer to forget and now Heath leaving me that message and I could kind of see that my life would hopefully be getting better, well after everything that's what I hoped but then I realized what the date was. As soon as I realized I felt like I was falling in a black hole because for the past year I had been pushing my guilt so far in the back of my mind and today was just bringing it to the front again. I walked up the hill crying just hoping that if I said sorry again it would make me feel better when I reached the top I noticed a figure sitting facing the ocean and when they turned around I realized it was Brax.

He stood up as I came closer. "Hey" I whispered. "Oh Bianca" he sighed and pulled me into a hug. The tears came faster when he held me in his arms and we stood there for a while until slowly the tears started to slow down and I stepped back and walked over to Charlie's grave and sat down. A few minutes later Brax joined me and we sat in silence for a while when suddenly he spoke up. "I really miss her Bianca and it's been a year and the pain has not gone away." "Yeah, I know I still feel so guilty that we were fighting before she died" I replied. "Yeah well not as guilty as I feel," he continued. "It's my fault she's gone, if I had of stayed away from her then she would still be here." "Brax you need to stop blaming yourself for this. You made Charlie the happiest woman. When she was around you she was really happy and without you she was …" I stopped I didn't know what else to say.

**BRAX POV**

I was surprised when Bianca started telling me it wasn't my fault and comforting me. I mean this, whatever it was between me and Bianca was nice because in a strange way we could relate to the feelings about Charlie. We both felt guilty; the difference was that she could handle it a bit better than me. Well at least before today she did. She didn't put a gun in front of Geoffrey King and tell him to shoot him and she didn't turn to alcohol. We sat there for a few more hours talking and communicating about stuff that wasn't really important but it felt so good to just talk to someone kind of like the way I used to talk to Charlie. Soon enough it was getting late so we both got up and went our separate ways. When I got home I went straight to bed and lay there unable to sleep until the early hours of the next day.

Yesterday when I had told Natalie that we were over I was upset about it but I thought that it was the right thing to do, I thought. I regret it now because even though Charlie Buckton was and will always be the love of my life, Natalie well she was the best I had since Charlie had died and I was happy with that. People look at you in disgust when you walk around with someone else after someone you loved has died but I have never stopped missing Charlie and I don't think I ever will. I may not show it to everyone in the town because that is my personal business and I know truly in my heart that I will always love Charlie.

**NATALIE POV**

Yesterday was the one of the worst days in history I mean after all Brax and I had gone through he was leaving me NOW, when I needed him the most because I have no one. He was my one person that I could talk to about anything and I think I was just starting to fall for him … HARD. When Brax came over that afternoon I was happy, my heart started to flutter as soon as I realized it was him at the door. But when the words started to slip out of his mouth, the wrong words, words I did not want to hear, I instantly regretted him coming over. I would have preferred to see him in a week if it meant we would still be together. Last night I was awake all night just thinking about Brax and what could have been.

**BRAX POV**

I was awake all last night thinking how my life had come to this. Thinking about Charlie and Natalie and the mistakes I made and how it meant losing them both.

THE NEXT CHAPTER SHOULD BE UP EITHER IN A COUPLE OF HOURS OR TOMORROW :)


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to everyone who reviewed this story and I think some of you may have gotten a little hint about what may happen. Just also someone told me that they didn't like Natalie and I am just telling you that although she is in the story for a few chapters at the start, its not really a story about her so please just wait and see! I got a suggestion that I should spread apart my lines more so it's easier to read and I started to do that in this chapter. I hope its ok and thank you for helping me out :)

Sorry I didn't update when I said I would but there was an unexpected Internet crash at my house and I couldn't update until today! Sorry! Enjoy…

**Chapter 2**

BIANCA POV

After my talk with Brax and I had gone straight home to find Heath there waiting at my door. I was excited and nervous at the same time, what was he here to say? Did he mean what he said over the phone? My eyes were still red and when I walked up to him, I hoped he wouldn't notice but he did, straight away.

"Bianca what's wrong? Have you been crying," he asked me and I could hear the concern in his voice.

"Uh…yeah it's just that Charlie died a year ago today that's all." Heath's face dropped.

"Oh Bianca," he sighed as he pulled me into a hug. At that point I couldn't help myself and I started sobbing….

* * *

When I woke the next morning, I found Heath lying next to me. What happened last night was slightly blurry and I was confused on how I got to the verandah to the bedroom. Nothing had happened between me and Heath because we were both still wearing the same clothes but I knew that nothing would have because although he it a bit rough on the outside, Heath is just not like that. I slowly got out of bed and walked into the kitchen to poor myself a glass of water.

As I stared out the window, I heard soft footsteps behind me and then hands slide around my waist.

"Hey," I said softly.

"Hey," Heath replied. "I woke up and you were gone. What's up?"

I sighed, I didn't want to do this but I had to. "What is this between us Heath. I mean one minute you hate me and I am trying to get you to talk to me and the next minute your calling me and telling me that you were wrong about us and that you want to be with me." Heath was looking at me.

"Bianca I love you and I want to be with you. I'm sorry about how I treated you after… you know. I just didn't know how to accept that your way of grieving was so different from mine and I just couldn't stand the fact of you pushing me away."

When I looked into his eyes, I could tell that he truly meant it. "So… Heath Braxton do you want to get back with me."

He grinned at me, "What type of question is that Bianca, of coarse I want to get back together with you. I love you."

As soon as he said those three words I felt so happy and I ran and jumped into his arms. He spun me around and then kissed me softly and then carried me up to bed…

**BRAX POV**

When I woke the next morning I was tired because I had hardly slept at all last night. I went into the kitchen to find Heath there with a really big smile on his face and he wasn't alone.

"Morning Brax," Bianca giggled as Heath started tickling her.

"Morning guys," I replied as I walked over to them. "So I take it you two are back together." Bianca just smiled and Heath laughed.

"Yeah we are, I stayed at her place last night I hope that's ok. We just came here so I could get my stuff to go for a surf." I shook my head at Heath as I noticed Bianca staring at him.

"Why would it bother me Heath, I'm your brother not your father." There was an awkward silence before I continued. "Anyway I am going for a surf, if you want to join me." I started to walk off but before I could, Heath spoke up.

"Wait for me mate, I'm coming." After he said that, I noticed Bianca staring at him with that look on her face and I could tell that he noticed it to.

"Oh… I don't think I can come for a surf actually… I just realized I was taking Bianca out for breakfast." I looked back at him and saw that Bianca was grinning at him and before she could bend down and kiss him, I spoke up.

"Heath I think you've gone soft," I chuckled before walking out of the room.

**BIANCA POV**

After Heath had taken me for breakfast, we walked on the beach when I saw Natalie sitting on the sand watching Brax surfing.

"Natalie," I called out. "What are you doing?" She looked at me before bursting out in tears and running up the beach. I looked up at Heath and just nodded at me so I let go off his hand and ran after her.

"Natalie, Natalie come back! What's wrong?" I asked her after I had finally caught up with her.

"Brax broke up with me," she told me between sobs. "And I don't even know what I did wrong!" This comment made her burst into a fresh flow of tears.

"Natalie you did nothing wrong," I tried to comfort her but it was no use.

"Well I must have, otherwise he wouldn't have broken up with me." I sighed I knew why Brax had broken up with her but how could I say to her that it had been a year since Charlie had passed away.

"I don't know Natalie maybe try talking to him," I suggested. Although I knew it was useless maybe it would try to get Brax to understand that Charlie wasn't coming back and Natalie was the next best thing. Natalie had helped Brax through a lot, with Casey, sorting his issues out and it finally had made him open up to someone since Charlie.

"Bianca I can't talk to him without getting upset, I mean look at me now, I wasn't even talking to him and I am all upset."

"Well there is no easy way to say this to you Natalie, but if you really want to get with Brax as much as you seem to than you are going have to be strong and get over that." She looked at me when I said that and I could tell that I had triggered something.

"Ok, I will go talk to him later." I smiled at her and squeezed her hand. Even though no one could replace Charlie to neither Brax nor I, she was good friend to me.

"Well good luck for when you do, but right now I have to go find Heath because I kind of left him before," I giggled and she did too.

"Thank you Bianca, you really helped me. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't of followed me. I would probably be crying in my room right now," she said honestly.

"That's ok, I will be here if you need any more help just come and talk to me ok," I replied and smiled as I stood up. I hoped that Heath was still on the beach and I walked away back down to the beach.

**BRAX POV**

Although I had tried to make it as suttle as possible, I had seen Natalie watching me on the beach and then run off as Bianca approached her and then Bianca followed her quickly. I finished my surf and as I came out I saw Heath there waiting for me.

"Brax, you know about Natalie… she seemed really upset."

"I know that Heath it is just that I don't know, the feelings I have for her, yeah they strong but after it was a year since Charlie died yesterday, I realized that I don't love Natalie, well at least not even near close enough to the way I loved Charlie. I just don't know if Natalie is going to be OK with that."

Heath looked at me and I know that felt sorry for me…

**HEATH POV**

After Brax said that to me, I could tell how much Buckton messed him up. He had never really been the same after she died and I knew that but I didn't realize how much until today. I looked at him, feeling sorry for him and I know that if I ever lost Bianca I would feel exactly the same. In a way I could kind of relate to him after losing Rocco but the pain of losing the love of your llfe was different to losing your newborn son.

"Brax mate, I know how you felt about Buckton and I cant even begin to imagine how hard moving on must be but Brax Natalie made you happier, I know it's not the same and that you cant ever replace how you feel about her, at least Natalie made some sort of impact on you."

Brax looked at me and I could tell he saw kind of what I was saying. "Should I get back with Natalie Heath?" I didn't know the answer to that question but it was probably the best move he could make, its not like he had that many anyway.

"Well I guess if you feel that it's what you think is right than yeah." I was grateful when Bianca walked over to us, although I wanted to help Brax, he really had to figure it out on his own.

"Did I interrupt something because I can go if you want?" Bianca asked me. I was about to answer her when Brax did it for me.

"No I was just heading off. Thanks Heath," he nodded at me before walking off.

"Is he ok." I looked at her, and nodded as I watched him walk up the beach.

"Yea, he's fine, come on," I pulled at her hand and led her down the beach.

**NATALIE POV**

I was so contemplating going to see Brax for the whole day. By the time I decided to, it was six o'clock and then there was a knock on the door…

**Sorry short chapter! Thoughts, ideas, did you like it… Who will be at the door? Do you guys want Brax and Natalie back together or not? Please review. Will probably update in the next few days! Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Heyyyy guys, I know I haven't updated in soooo long and I don't really hve any excuses but I have some really good ideas for this story but I have to get past the boring beginning :(**

**Anyway I hope you enjoy xx**

Chapter 3

**BRAX POV**

After I had left Heath and Bianca at the beach I had gone for a very long drive to think about everything before without me realizing it, I had ended the trip in Natalie's driveway.

As I walked up to the front door I kept telling myself that this was the right thing and I needed to be happy. When I knocked the door I heard footsteps before Natalie opened the door. She looked shocked to see me but before she could say anything I quickly started talking.

"Natalie I am really sorry for hurting you I just thought at the time it was best for you because I wanted you to be safe and you wouldn't be safe when you were with me. I don't want to come home one day and find that you were really badly hurt or someone had kidnapped you. There are some really messed up people that hate me and would do anything to hurt me and to do that, they have to hurt you. I also needed to clear my head because recently something came up that reminded me of what I have lost before I met you." I took a deep breath before continuing.

"Look Natalie, I would understand if you hated me right now and you didn't want anything to do with me. I mean I wouldn't want anything to do with me if I were you. I am here just to say sorry and if you want, I want to be with you because I know that is what I want."

I sighed and finally looked down at the ground. I looked up again and gave her a small smile and started to walk away. I was almost at my car before she ran after me, pulled me around and kissed me.

**NATALIE POV **

As he smiled at me and turned around and walked away, it took me a few seconds to fully comprehend what he had said. Then it hit me and I found myself running after him and pulling him around before pulling him into a kiss. It took him by surprise at first but after a bit he started to kiss him back.

After a minute or so, I pulled back and smiled at him. "Do you want to stay for dinner?" I asked him.

"Sure," he replied before smiling and pulling me back in for another kiss before we walked back inside hand in hand.

* * *

Brax and I were halfway through eating dinner when there was a knock on the door. I went to answer it to find Bianca at the door and when she realized how happy I looked, she seemed really confused.

"Hey Nat, what's happened in the last few hours that has got you so happy?" She asked me clearly confused.

"Well, I got back together with Brax," I said as I opened the door wider so she could see Brax inside.

"Oh," she smiled. "I am so happy for you," she said as she pulled me in for a hug. "Anyway, I can see you guys are clearly busy so I will leave you to it."

"Oh, ok Bianca. Thanks again though for coming tonight and also for this afternoon." I thanked her gratefully. Without Bianca helping me through everything I don't know where I would be.

"Don't even worry about it Nat. I am just glad you are happy again," she said before leaving.

I closed the door and walked back over to Brax where we finished eating. As I was about to get up and clear the plates, Brax stood up and took them instead. "Thank you," I said before following him into the kitchen.

I went to the fridge to get the ice cream but Brax stopped me before I could by grabbing me gently and pulling me into him.

"What are you doing," he asked.

"Getting dessert," I replied before laughing as his face lit up with that cheeky grin of his.

"I think that I have a better idea," he said. Then he pulled me in for a passionate kiss before leading me to the bedroom…

**Also I know this one was really short but I should have a longer chapter (or 2!) updated tomorrow! I will also keep updating regularly now and again I am really sorry about the wait.**

**I know most of you hate the Nat/Brax pairing... trust me so do I which also means I just needed it for this story. It will only be for a few more chapters! Don't fret!**

**Please review! xx**


	4. Authors note :)

Hey guys, I know I said I would update but the next day I lost my grandfather and during this time I haven't been able too. I am really sorry guys, it is just a hard time at the moment. Thanks for understanding xx


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